My Solo Parent Testimony:
My single parenting journey started in September 2023. My husband of 14 years got angry one day and decided to leave. He had been struggling with Bipolar Disorder, Depression, and Anxiety for many years. He refused to get help for a long time, and became an angry, mean man. Everything that left his mouth was negative, whether to me or to our two children. He wasn’t a happy person and it seemed to be his mission to make those around him just as unhappy as he was.
I panicked when he told me he was leaving. He was finally seeing a psychiatrist that was trying to help him, and we were starting to see a little bit of happiness come from him. I had prayed and prayed that he would get back to his loving, caring self. He was the sweetest man before his mental health issues came into the picture. (He didn’t start experiencing these issues until his Mom died. The psychiatrist said that he had always had Bipolar Disorder, but it was dormant, and the big even of his mom dying was like turning on a light switch for the disorder.) I begged him to stay, to go to marriage counseling with me, to just try to make things work for our family. He refused. He said some of the most hurtful, mean, and degrading things that have ever been said to me in my life while I was asking him to stay. That’s when I realized, he needed to go. The kids and I didn’t need to be around that energy anymore.
At first, I had felt like I was letting God down by getting divorced. I didn’t see how the kids and I would be able to make it financially. I was terrified that we wouldn’t be able to afford necessities on money I make. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be good enough for them, that I wasn’t a good enough mom to be able to raise them by myself. I was afraid it would hurt the kids in the long run to have only me.
I didn’t know how I would handle the day-to-day raising of our children by myself. I knew, without a doubt, that when my husband walked out that door, that he would not be an active parent in our children’s lives, and I was correct. 100% of the parenting is left to me.
I worried about everything to the point that my boss came to me and asked how she could help me. I will never forget what she told me. She told me that I had done everything I could do, and I needed to hand it all over to God. She made me see that worrying about everything was bringing me down, and wasn’t helping me at all, but if I would hand it all over to God and say “God, it’s in your hands. I’m listening” that God would take those worries. So that’s what I did. I gave it to God and He lifted that stress off of me.
I soon realized that the kids and I would be okay. The atmosphere in our home completely changed. The kids, although they missed their dad, were happy. They were at ease, not having to worry about being fussed at for being kids. (Playing too loud, etc.) I wasn’t being put down constantly anymore. There was just a feeling of peace in our home that had been missing for a long time.
I prayed many prayers for God to help us financially, and he came through in ways I never even imagined. I was able to open a tutoring class with 4 students in it after school, and some individual tutoring sessions that helped tremendously with my income. I’ve been able to make it just fine with the kids.
One of my favorite things that has changed is how the kids and I talk to each other. Each night, we all gather in retreat/den in my bedroom and just talk about things. It may be about something exciting coming up, my son’s favorite game he’s been playing, or what my daughter wants to get for her dolls. It may be something silly, joking around, telling funny tales, or the kids horseplaying while I sit on the couch and laugh as I watch them. But this wouldn’t have happened while my ex was still here. He would have fussed at us for being too loud, or told them to stop horseplaying because they were getting on his nerves. This nightly routine is now my favorite part of my day!
I realize now that although it was hard seeing him leave, God stepped in and gave the kids and me peace and happiness. This is no longer a home in which we have to tiptoe around and worry about making someone angry. It’s a home full of love, laughter, and God.
I’m still new to single parenting, but I know I’ve got God in my corner and the kids and I will make many happy memories through the coming years, and we will be at peace. I also know that I have a village with my family, friends, and coworkers at my job that will be there for us whenever we need them. God has wrapped his arms around us and let us know that although things are different than I ever expected them to be, He’s got us and He’s not going to let us down.